You Can't love Someone You Don't Trust (Completed)
by MikaylaYardley
Summary: clare has a hard time trusting eli, how far will she go to proove thats he's unfaithful. will it cost them their relationship? will it cost clare her life? read to find out. i might rate it M for later chapters
1. Chapter 1

You can't love someone you don't trust

Clare's POV:

I stared at Eli from my locker. Eli was standing across the hall talking to some rich preppy girl named Hannah. Now the only reason I knew her name was because Adam had a crush on her. They used to talk all the time, but within the last few weeks she had pushed Adam away and was all up Eli's alley. The bad thing about that was that Eli was right up her alley also. I was pretending to read my copy of Romeo and Juliet, even though we had already learned about it in English class, there was just a part of me that loved the story and couldn't get enough of it, while ever so often glancing up at them to see her bat her stupid fake long eyelashes at him. I didn't get it. We were together, that meant he was supposed to want to spend time with me, not some other girl, right? I could have sworn I saw Hannah glance over at me, so I looked down at my book. I waited a few minutes before looking up again, but when I did they were both gone. Suddenly someone came up behind me and I thought it was her but actually it was Eli.

Eli-"Hey, What's up." "Did I miss anything interesting?" Now earlier Eli had skipped out on eating lunch with me to "take care of something" as he had said. I was honestly over all his little "sorry but I have to take care of something's" so all I said was fine. Over the last few weeks his strange disappearances started to surprise me less and less. So whenever he skipped out on something all I said was fine or ok.

Me-" No, but its not like you ever do because my life is boring as always."

Eli-"Trust me Clare, you're not boring, I like you and you're life just the way it is."

Me-"Yeah, I bet you do." And with that I closed my locker and walked away. I know I was being a little harsh, but why should I have to stand there and listen to him lie to my face, so I won't realize that he is interested in some other girl. To my surprise he didn't come running after me, so I just continued to walk to the picnic tables that were outside. I saw Adam sitting down and reading a comic, so I walked over to him and sat down, while slamming my books down on the table.

Adam-"Let me guess, after Eli skipped out on lunch, you saw him talking to Hannah, and then he tried to talk to you and pretend everything is just dandy."

Me-"You nailed it."

Adam-" Booya!, I'm so good."

Me-"Yeah you're so good that you can predict when my boyfriend is going to skip out on me to go hang with some other girl." "I don't think that's something I would want to be proud of."

Adam-"Yeah, you're right. This sucks. Not only are we loosing a best friend, you're loosing your boyfriend and I'm loosing my crush."

Me-"I know, I just don't understand it. If he was cheating wouldn't he do it where I couldn't see it?"

Adam-"That's normally what guys do."

Me-"Yeah, but he skips out on everything I suggest we do together, says he has to "take care of something", and then goes and flirts with a girl right in front of my face." "What's up with that?" "If he was cheating you would at least think he would hide it."

Adam-"Well, maybe he's not cheating yet…"

Me-"Oh come on Adam, we know he is."

Adam-"What I was saying is, maybe he's not cheating yet, maybe he's just interested in her, and wants to get to know her."

Me-"UHHHHH, this is driving me insane."

Then all of a sudden Eli and Hannah come walking out of the school talking about something, so I pull Adam off of the picnic table bench and into some bushes.

Adam-"WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING?"

Me-"shhh. Here come Eli and Hannah. I want to hear what they are talking about."

Eli-"Okay so I'll bring the candles and rose pedals."

Hannah-"Yeah. Oh and the beds need to be made. My family hasn't been there since last summer and we took everything with us. so I'll bring blankets and pillows for the beds."

Eli-"Ok sounds great. I can't wait to see your lake house."

Hannah-"I know you're going to love it. oh and by the way you may want to bring some groceries, there is no food in the fridge."

Eli-"Okay, no problem."

Hannah-"Now all I have to do, is swipe the key when my parents aren't looking. Haha so we are meeting at the dot at 5?"

Eli-" Yup, and that will give us 3 hours to get there, do it and get back."

Hannah-'Sounds great, I'll see you then."

They gave each other a hug and Hannah walked off. I couldn't stand the realization that Eli was cheating on me. I saw Eli glance at the books on the table then he started looking around like he knew we were close.

Eli-"Clare, Adam, where are you guys."

Adam-"Oh no, what do we do?"

Me-'just go along with what I say." "OVER HERE ELI."

I pulled Adam through the bushes and we both walked over toward Eli.

Eli-"What were you guys doing in the bushes?"

Me-'Well, um I was showing Adam a cheerleading routine, that my sister Darcy taught me when she used to be a cheerleader, and my ring flew off my hand and landed in the bushes. Adam was just helping me find it." "Isn't that right Adam?"

Adam-"Yeah totally, her ring really meant a lot to her."

Eli-"ok? So Clare I know we had plans for tonight but I…"

I cut him off saying

Me-"You can't make it."

Eli-"Well, I have time for coffee but then I have to go."

Me-"Oh don't worry about it, Adam and I are busy with something so I won't be able to hang out at all."

Adam looked at me like what are you talking about? I nudged his side and he went along with it.

Adam-"Yeah we got to finish a project."

Eli-"Oh, ok well I guess I'll call you later tonight."

With that Eli walked away. I knew that I had hurt him but I had a plan.

Me-"Hey Adam, are you ready to get them back?"

Adam-"It depends what do you have in mind?"

Me-"Oh I think you're going to like it."

In front of the dot- 5:00pm: Adam and me stood in front of the Dot waiting for Eli and Hannah to get there. We had our plan all worked out and we both were a little nervous. Soon after we got there Eli pulled up in his hearse. He walked in took a seat and ordered some coffee. A few minutes later Hannah walked by us and entered the dot, and took a seat in front of Eli. This is perfect. Eli was facing the window so he would see us first.

Me-"Ok Adam, you ready?"

Adam-"Yea, I am."

Me-"Ok, lets do this, and do it good."

Right when Hannah walked back to sit down in her seat, I playfully and seductively grabbed Adam and pulled him to me. Adam went in to seal our plan with a kiss but instead I pushed his back in to the side window of the dot. I leaned in to kiss Adam, but hesitated to look and see if Eli was watching. He was and he looked shocked to see us. Then when I saw that Hannah and Eli were both watching I pushed myself close to Adam and kissed him with all the jealousy and anger that I had from Eli cheating. For a moment Adam was really getting into it. Rubbing his hands this way and that. I pulled away breathless, and stared at Adam for a second, before slightly glancing at Eli. Eli was just standing at his seat, with tears streaming down his face. Ok, I know I was a little too harsh, but that's what he gets for cheating. So I seductively looked at Adam and smiling before grabbing his hand and pulling him away to make it look like we were going to finish this else where. We ran as fast as we could. It didn't take us to long to reach my house, with us running like rabid dogs were chasing after us. We busted through the door, and ran up my stairs and into my room, with my mom asking us if we were ok.

Me-"We're fine Mom, just having fun like always."

Mrs. Edwards-"Ok, I'm going out, I won't be back for a while so don't wait up. Have fun honey I love you."

Me-"Love you to mom. Byee."

Adam-"Bye Mrs. Edwards."

My mom left so I shut my bedroom door.

Adam-"I'm so glad my plan worked."

Me-"Your plan? That was my plan."

Adam-"Oh yea?"

Me-"Yea."

Adam-'Well, we'll just see about that."

Now I know this might seem a little odd to you but Adam, Eli, and me have been best friends since I can't even remember. Now we would always have wrestling competitions. I would normally wrestle with Eli and so would Adam. But ever since Eli has been ditching us Adam and me would wrestle. Now its pretty normal for someone to walk in on us sprawled out on the couch or the floor beating the crap out of one another, but I guess this time they took it the wrong way.

Me-"Really now, what are you going to do about it?"

Adam-"Oh, I'll show you."

Me-"OH YEA BRING IT!"

Then all of a sudden we started beating the heck out of each other. I kicked him while he grabbed my hands, to keep me from hitting him. Then I released my hands while Adam tripped over my bed, falling back on it while pulling me down with him. We both just laughed. It was the perfect opportunity, he thought the game was over and tried to get up, but since I was straddling him, I just rolled so that he was on top of me, then I pushed him so he would fall in the floor. Just when I thought I was going to win, Adam grabbed my both my wrists and held on for dear life, which caused me to fall on top of him in the floor next to my bed. And to claim his victory, he flipped me over so he was pinning me to the ground.

Adam-"Pinned ya, I win."

Me-"Oh, Yea, well we'll just see about that."

I went to go and flip him over but Eli standing in the doorway stopped me. I looked up, and Eli just stood there staring at me. Hair ruffled, shirt hanging off my shoulder, one ballet flat missing, and Adam pinned under me with his Beanie lost in my room, his hair sticking up this way and that, his button up shirt half hanging off revealing his white tee shirt twisted around his body, and his pants almost down to his ankles because he had to look cool and wear them baggy. We were just wrestling, but I knew what it looked like, and so did Adam and Eli.

Eli-"CLARE WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?"

Me-"Eli, it's not what it looks like I swear." "You see Adam and me were just wrestling like we always do."

Adam-"Yeah, nothing more, nothing less."

Eli-"I don't want to hear you two's lies."

Me-"Eli, we're not lying."

Eli-"Yeah, it's nothing more, that why I saw you two kissing in front of the dot."

Me-"but Eli, that was just a trick to get back at you because we thought you were cheating." I explained as Adam and I were getting up.

Eli-"Cheating? You thought I was cheating?" "I was planning a special night for you because our anniversary is tomorrow."

Me-"What? What about Hannah then?" "And what about you spending 3 hours with her at her stupid lake house tonight?"

Eli-"I was meeting her there so we could stock the house with everything it needed so we could spend this weekend there alone." "But I guess if you'd rather be with Adam, then I won't stop you." He went to walk out of the door, but I begged him to let me explain.

Me-"Please Eli, wait I'm sorry."

Eli-"Its really funny Clare, every time I try to do something nice for you, you end up thinking I'm cheating. What do I have to do to make you understand that I'm not going to cheat on you? I care about you more than life itself. I would never cheat on you. Never. I love you and I thought you loved me to, but I guess I was wrong."

Everything seemed to be in slow motion, except for the tears that were streaming down my face. I stood there in front of the most wonderful person I had ever know, the one person that loved me back amongst all of my flaws, and imperfections. He loved me and I had done this to him. I couldn't speak, I couldn't breath, I couldn't process what was happening.

Me-"What are you saying?"

Eli-"I'm saying that if you can't trust me than why do I keep trying."

Me-"Eli, please.."

Eli-"we should just stopped kidding ourselves."

Me-"no, don't do this."

Eli-"I think it would just be better if we ended this."

Me-"But I… I love you."

Eli-"No you don't. You can't love someone you don't trust."

Me-"Eli, please. I'm begging you."

Eli turned to the door and went to walk out of it but he turned to me.

Eli-"'yeah and I begged you to trust me, but you couldn't."

And with that he turned and walked out. I couldn't believe this. He was gone. He wasn't mine anymore. The beating off my heart quickened. It was storming and the rain came down with nothing stopping it. I ran outside with Adam behind me.

Adam-"CLARE, STOP WHAT ARE YOU DOING!"

I didn't answer I just ran out in to the middle of the street, watching as Morty drove off in the distance. I stood there with the rain falling down my face, mixing with the tears that I couldn't contain. He was gone and there was no way to get him back. I couldn't think, I couldn't feel anything except the beating of my heart. I looked over and saw Adam running toward me screaming no. Then two headlights filled my eyes with light, and the last thing I remember seeing was Eli's face.


	2. Chapter 2

You Can't Love Someone You Don't Trust

Chapter 2

Adam's POV:

I couldn't believe what had just happened before my eyes. Eli, my best friend, had just broken up with Clare, my other best friend. Eli had gotten in his car a drove away, Clare ran out of the house like a mad person, and stopped in the middle of the street watching Eli's hearse disappear into the distance. Then all of a sudden before I could even get two little letters out of my mouth, a car collided with Clare's body. Her body was camouflaged with the pavement. When I got to her, her tears, the rain and her blood drowned her eyes and face causing her to not breath. I lifted her head and soon discovered that it had been bashed in. The force from the car indented and caved her head in causing blood to stain her curly autumn hair. I ripped of my jacket and raped it around the gushing wound on her head. With tears running down my face, while holding her lifeless body, I pulled my phone out of my pocket and dialed 911.

Operator-"911 operator, what's your emergency?"

Adam-"OMG MY BEST FRIEND WAS JUST HIT BY A CAR!" "HURRY WE NEED HELP PLEASE."

Operator-"Sir I need you to calm down please. I need a location of where you are."

Adam-"220 Bartley Dr, Toronto, ON M4A 1G2, Canada. PLEASE HURRY SHE'S BLEEDING."

Operator-"OK help is on the way. Apply pressure to the back of the wound."

Adam-"ok I did. Ok I see the ambulance, they are here."

Operator-"ok bye."

The ambulance pulled up, opened its doors, and brought out the stretcher. I didn't know what I should do so I just got in the back of the ambulance with her. When they shut the doors and started to drive away they started working furiously to take care of her. I just sat back since there was nothing I could do to help. I decided to try to call Clare's mom, but she didn't answer so I just left a voice mail. Then I called Eli. I didn't know how I was going to explain this, hell I didn't even know if I could talk with all of the shock that I had endured. I went down my contact list, scrolled down all the way to Eli's name, and hit the call button.

Me-"Hello, Eli are you there?"

Eli-"Adam, I really don't want to hear how I messed up an-."

Me-"Eli, listen, Clare's hurt."

Eli-"What do you mean Clare's hurt?"

Me-"Eli, I don't know how it happened, when you drove off in Morty, Clare ran out into the street after you, and then she got hit by a car, and her head is really hurt bad. You need to come to the hospital."

Eli-"OMG, I'll be there as fast as I can."

Me-"Please hurry Eli, it's really bad."

Eli-"Ok I'm coming."

By the time I got off the phone we were already at the hospital. They got her out, and into the hospital. I followed closely by. They said that they were going into surgery immediately and when I tried to follow them back there they stopped me and said I was allowed back there. Soon after I saw Eli running trough the hospital doors.

Eli-"ADAM! Where is she?"

Me-"They just took her back to surgery, and we're not allowed back there."

Eli-"But I love her I have to get back there."

Me-"I know but the best thing right now is to just wait."

Eli-"Ok,"

We sat down and waited. Eli told me he wanted to know everything that happened. So I told him everything. From the time he left in Morty, until right now.

Eli-"I can't believe that I hurt her. I love her with all my heart and now….uh I don't know what I'm going to do if I loose her."

Me-"Nothing is going to happen to her I promise."

Eli-"Yeah, that's what everyone told me when Julia was hurt. But she didn't turn out ok, she turned out dead. I can't deal with the thought of loosing her Adam." "I don't know what I'll do."

Me-"Eli, I know you have been through a lot, but you just have to have hope and faith. I know you don't believe in any of that stuff, but that's the only thing we can do right now."

Eli-"Adam, I was so bad to her. I didn't mean anything I said, not at all. I don't want to be without her, I can't. I just wish I could go back and take it all back. If I hadn't broken up with her this wouldn't of happened. We wouldn't be sitting in a hospital waiting for her to get out of surgery, we would be together at the lake house." "This is all my fault."

Me-"it's now your fault Eli. You had nothing to do with this. Ok."

Eli-"She probably never wants to see me again." "She probably hates me." he started crying and I didn't know what I could do to comfort him.

Me-"You listen to me, that girl in that room back there loves you to death, she loves you with all her heart. She would never want to live without you. Trust me I know. She tells me everything. She loves you; hell she's loved you from the moment she laid eyes on you. She would do anything for you. And you need to believe me when I tell you that, that girl is fighting as hard as she could. She loves you Eli, she really does."

Eli-'She told you she loves me?"

Me-"Yes she did. You have no idea how much that girl loves you. No matter what you do, no matter what you say, no matter how much you hurt her, purposely or accidentally, she loves you and she will love you even after the day that she dies."

And with that Eli broke down. She cried and cried and cried. I just sat there and held him. I cried with him all night long. She is our best friend. She was always there for us when we needed her. She is the best person I have ever met. She is kind, loving, caring, sweet, and generous. God couldn't take her away, he just couldn't. I cant count how many times that night I wished I could take her place, and it be me instead of her. She didn't deserve this. She was god's gift to us and he had the ability to take her away. All we could do was pray that he didn't.


	3. Chapter 3

You Can't Love Someone you don't trust

Chapter 3

Eli's POV:

We spent all night in the waiting room. Surprisingly Clare's mom still hadn't come home or answered the phone. It was really starting to piss me off seeing as how this was her daughter. I mean come on. What could her mom be doing, we had called her a thousand times, and left a thousand voice mails, why wasn't she answering? I couldn't stand it. I was so mad I could spit fire. Adam and me were making small chat when the doctor came from a door and walked toward us. The doctor looked really worried and I knew that it couldn't be good. He came over to us asking us if we were the family of Clare Edwards.

Me-"Yea we are."

Doctor-"Well she's out of surgery. I'm afraid to tell you this, but things don't look so good."

Me-"What do you mean things don't look so good? Is she ok?"

Doctor-"Well, there's no easy way to say this."

Me-"Say what?" My heart was pounding in my chest and I felt like everyone could hear it. Everything seemed to be in slow motion. I couldn't think straight. I couldn't think at all. The only think I could think off was how much I was dreading to hear the words that would crush my heart, my world, and my reason for living.

Doctor-"Well, she's stable but she's in a coma"

Me-"Yeah, but that means she's going to be fine right."

Doctor-"I'm sorry, but we don't really know the condition of her injuries. You see when she was in surgery she started bleeding out and so we couldn't continue."

Me-"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU COULDN'T CONTINUE, YOU COULD OF SAVED HER LIFE!"

Doctor-"No see you don't understand, she was bleeding out, and wasn't stopping. If we had continued with the surgery she would of bled to death. We had to pull out and stop the bleeding. So until her head wound is stable we wont be able to continue with the surgery."

Me-"So your saying all we can do is wait?"

Doctor-"Yes."

Me-"But that's good right, wait until she's stable."

Doctor-"Well, I'm afraid that because she is bleeding out we can't find out the seriousness of the damage. That means that until her wound is stable, meaning her coming out of the a coma, we can't go in a find out how bad the wound is. That means by waiting if the wound is bad then it could get worse. There is good and bad news. She could wake up or pass at any minute."

Me-"When you say get worse you mean?"

Doctor-"We have seen many cases like this before, so we are really concerned with the fact that the accident may have caused brain damage, and the longer we wait to continue with surgery, which we can't really control, the worse the brain damage may become."

Me-"When you say brain damage, what all does that include?"

Doctor-"well it varies, but in most cases, brain damage causes semi retardation, memory loss, disability, impairment, speech problems, and much more. But we are doing what we can to make sure things don't become worse."

I couldn't find the words to speak, my legs went soft and I faltered. Sliding all the way down to the floor.

Doctor-"OH are you ok?"

Adam-"He'll be fine just a little shocked, thank you so much for all your help."

The doctor nodded before walking away. Adam slowly sat down on the floor next to me. I was at a loss for words. I didn't understand why this was happening. If there was a god, was he punishing me for not believing in him? This was my entire fault. What happened to Julia and now what was happening to Clare. After Julia it took a long time for me to be able to love again, but I did. I got there with Clare's help. I love her with all my heart, and now it was being ripped in two. I couldn't deal with the thought of loosing Clare. My mind wouldn't let me. I know I had dealt with loosing Julia, but Clare made me better, that is why I loved her more than I had ever loved Julia. I couldn't live not seeing her short, curly, autumn hair, her big blue eyes, and her sweet pink lips. I couldn't go another second without seeing her. I jumped up from where I was sitting, and ran to the nearest counter calling out for someone of authority. Soon after I started calling out for someone, the doctor that I had talked to cam out from behind a door, and asked if he could help me.

Me-"Yes, is there anyway that I could see her?"

Doctor-"Well I'm not so sure about tha-."

Me-"Please, please, I'm begging you."

Doctor-"Ok just make it quick she needs her rest."

He slowly guided me toward the room to where she lay. I was so unprepared to see what was left of Clare lying there. I couldn't believe that I had left this happen. She was my world, my everything. And now she could be gone, because of me. He left me a few feet away from the door and walked away. I wanted to see her, I needed to see her. But for some reason I could move. I was scared to see what I had done to her. What had seemed so easy a few minutes before was so very hard now. I slowly walked to the door. I reached up and pushed down the handle. I pushed the door and slowly opened it. I stepped inside and saw what I was not expected to see. She was lying in the hospital bed, wearing a hospital gown. There were i.v.'s going this were and that connected to her, and then to machines. Her eyes were closed and she looked somewhat peaceful. Her autumn curls were tangled and ruffled this way and that. She had bruises and cuts all over her face and arms. I walked a little closer only to see that it was worse than it looked. Her face had bruises all over it, her lips were busted, and she had a huge white bandage wrapped around her head. I could tell that some of her hair had been cut off. My guess was to get it out of the way during surgery. When I was dating Julia, something like her hair being shaved off would of bothered me, but when I loved Clare this much, it didn't gross me out, it made me hurt to see what she had been through because of me. I was so mad at myself. I didn't know what to do. I sat there a cried and cried for what seemed like forever. I was lost, more lost than I had ever been. So I did something that I hadn't done in two years. I got down on my knees next to the hospital bed, put my hands together, bowed my head and prayed. I prayed and prayed. I prayed and cried until I didn't think I could talk anymore.

Me-"I'm asking you god to help her survive no matter what happens I will make it up to her and to you. I will thank you everyday of my life for this miracle if you can give it to me. You will become my savior, and I will put my whole heart into thanking you. I will trust in you for protection and guidance whenever I need you. I will ask you for help before anyone. I will honor you before anyone. I will never loose hope and faith in you again if you could please please god please, help save her. In Jesus Christ's name I pray, amen."

I couldn't believe what I had just said, but I meant every word. I sat there a few more minutes before I heard someone say something.

Clare-"dad, is that you?"

And god had given me my Miracle.


	4. Chapter 4

You Can't Love Someone You Don't Trust

Chapter 4

Clare's POV:

I don't remember quite what happened. The only thing I remembered was a blinding white light filling my eyes, and then it was like I went into a deep sleep. I didn't really understand what was happening. There was this bright light and a voice talking, but there was this kind of force pulling me away from the light, it was pulling me deeper into the darkness. It was hard to fight it, part of me wanted to, but the other part just wanted to sink down into the darkness and just rest. I just wanted to forget everything and just have peace. But I didn't feel like I had fulfilled my purpose here on earth. So I fought, and pulled away from the force pulling me under. The more I fought the closer the light got, and the louder the voice I was hearing got. The voice sounded familiar but I couldn't pin point it. It was talking to god, asking him for forgiveness and for a miracle, whatever that maybe. When I first opened my eyes I thought I had died and went to heaven. I still heard the voice talking and my first thought was that it was my dad.

Me-"Dad, is that you?"

When everything became clear I realized that I was lying in a hospital bed with I.V.'s poking into me everywhere. There was a boy kneeling next to my bed. He looked up at me and I realized that it was Eli. I couldn't believe that he was here. I mean come one, out of all the people that could be in this ugly little room it had to be him. He immediately jumped up and came and hugged me. I pushed him away.

Me-"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? YOU ARE THE LAST PERSON I WANT TO SEE!"

Eli-"What are you talking about?"

Me-"Excuse me? You don't remember our fight?"

Eli-"WHAT FIGHT?

Me-"JUST GET OUT I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN!

Eli-"How could you say that to me?"

Eli came like he was going to hug me again, but I didn't want to be touched by him. He had hurt me in the most painful way possible. I didn't know what else to do, so I did the only think I could think of.

Me-"HELP, SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME!"

Eli-"Have you lost your mind, I'm your boyfriend, I'm supposed to be here."

A few minutes later a bunch of doctors and nurses came running into the room, demanding to know what was going on.

Me-"GET HIM OUT. HE'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE."

Doctor-"Ok, nurses will you please escort this young man out of here and into the waiting room."

The nurses replied with a quick nod before grabbing Eli by the arms and taking him out of the room.

Eli-"Clare! How could you do this? I'M YOUR BOYFRIEND, I LOVE YOU."

When Eli yelled that he loved me it reminded me of all the hurtful things he had said to me during our fight. He didn't love me; he wanted nothing to do with me. The doctor came and sat in the chair beside my bed.

Doctor-"Hi, I'm doctor Johnson. How are you doing?"

Me-"I don't know, I'm really confused."

Doctor Johnson-"I know you have been through a lot. But don't worry your parents are in the waiting room."

Me-"Ok, but could you please just tell me what I am doing here?"

Doctor Johnson-"How about I go get your parents?"

Me-"Ok." He walked out of the room for a second before returning.

Mrs. Edwards-"OH MY GOODNESS CLARE! ARE YOU OK?" the women said as she came to my side hugging me. I quickly pulled away and she was confused. The man that was with her walked over to the other side of my bed.

Mr. Edwards-"Clare honey, what's wrong?"

Me-"Who's Clare? and who are you?"

Mrs. Edwards-"I don't understand, we are your parents, and you are our daughter Clare."

Me-"You're not my parents. I'm not Clare."

Mrs. Edwards-"Honey what are you talking about? Of course you're Clare."

Me-"No I'm not, my name is Julia."


	5. Author's Note: PLEASE READ

**Author's note: please read!**

**Hey guys I just want to let you guys know that if I get 15 reviews I will upload another chapter. I really want to know what you guys think about Clare thinking that she's Julia. so review and let me know **


	6. Chapter 5

**Quick Author's Note: **** I just want to let you guys know that if you have any questions then ask them in the review/comment section. I read all reviews/comments so I will see them. I will then answer them at the top of the next uploaded chapter. Like I'm doing right now lol. So feel free to ask anything. Oh and btw you guys are probably wondering why I changed font, I just changed it cause I like it better than times new roman, but don't worry I might go back, I just want to see how it's going to look on fanfiction. If you guys don't like it then just comment and tell me. I'll reupload the same chapter but the original font. Oh and I know that this is a long author's note but one more thing. ****You can follow me at my tumblr page- .com and also on twitter- Brooke199416.**** Ask me questions or we can just talk ~Thanks~**

You Can't Love Someone You Don't Trust

Chapter 5

Eli's POV:

What the hell just happened?

I'm soo confused, I don't understand. Clare the love of my life just had me physically removed from her hospital room. As soon as I was thrown out into the waiting room Adam came running over to me to see what the hell happened.

Adam-"OMG DUDE! What happened?"

Me-"I don't understand."

Adam-"Eli, snap out of it, and tell me what happened."

Me-"Well I went into Clare's room to see her, and I was really lost so I kind of kneeled next to her bed and prayed. I asked god to help save her and I would let him be my savior." "Well then he gave me a miracle, she woke up from the a coma." Well as soon as she saw me she freaked out." " She started screaming for me to get out and that she never wants to see me again."

Adam-"whoa whoa whoa hold on a second, you mean you're telling me that Clare the girl that loves you more than her own life just screamed that she never wanted to see you again and had you removed from her room?"

Me-"Yeah, just like that. I don't know what's going on Adam. Do you think she might be mad about the breakup?"

Adam-"I don't know Eli, Clare wouldn't normally be mad, she would just be sad and depressed. And besides Clare loves you a lot so there is no way that she would never want to see you again." "You're just going to have to find out yourself."

Me-"And how do you think I'm going to do that? Every time I go near her she freaks out and yells at me."

Adam-"You got me there. I have no idea. Maybe you should just wait it off a little, the drama can't be good for her condition."

Me-"Yeah, you're right. I don't want to strain her or cause her any stress. I love her."

Adam-"She loves you too, she's probably confused about all that happened, she did just come out of a coma."

Me-"Yeah, I hope so."

We sat together not talking for what seemed like forever. I didn't understand what was taking so long. Did they just automatically forget about Clare's boyfriend that loves her to death that is sitting in the waiting room ripping his hair out because of the anticipation of wanting to see her and know what's going on? Ok calm down Eli, it's all going to be ok, you just need to calm down and breath. So I did. I sat there looking like a dumb ass trying to calm my nerves. Why couldn't they just come out and tell me already? Right when that thought entered my head, Clare's parents along with the doctor came into the waiting room. They walked over to me told me that they needed to speak privately with me.

Me-"Ok, is there something wrong?"

Doctor Johnson-"It's just best if you come with me please."

I glanced at Adam before getting up and following the doctor into an empty room. I was so scared as to what he was about to tell me. My heart was beating so fast.

Doctor Johnson-"Ok so I'm guessing that you are wondering why Clare, your girlfriend, told you she didn't want to ever see you again, and had you kicked out of her room, right?"

Me-"Yeah, I'm just really confused."

Doctor Johnson-"Ok, well I just want you to brace yourself, this may come as bit of a shock."

Me-"Ok, just tell me."

Doctor Johnson-"Well, I think it would be best for Clare's parents to tell you because it's a personal matter."

Me-"What do you mean by personal matter?"

Right when I asked that Doctor Johnson got up and walked out of the room. Clare's parents walked over to me and sat in the chairs next to me. I was kind of relieved because the doctor did say that it was a personal matter and Clare's parents and me are sort of close. I'd rather hear it from them.

Me-"So, what's going on?"

Mrs. Edwards-"Well Eli, I know this make be shocking but Clare isn't herself."

Me-"What do you mean not herself?" What they were about to tell me must have been serious because as soon as I asked that Mrs. Edwards broke out into tears, got up and walked out of the room. I was left alone with Mr. Edwards to tell me.

Mr. Edwards-"I know this is hard but you're just going to have to bear with me ok?"

Me-"Of course."

Mr. Edwards-"Ok well, you weren't the only one that Clare was acting strange with."

Me-"What do you mean?"

Mr. Edwards-"Well, when Mrs. Edwards and I went into see Clare she seemed kind of confused. We tried to reason with her, but it didn't work. Then we talked to Doctor Johnson, and he said that her condition was really serious and rare."

Me-"What do you mean confused? Her condition?"

Mr. Edwards-"Ok well I don't know how I'm going to say this but when we went into the room to see how she was doing, well she told us that she had never seen us before and that we weren't her parents."

Me-"What! Are you telling me that she doesn't know who she is?"

Mr. Edwards-"Well, she knows who she thinks she is. You see she doesn't think she's Clare. She um…"

Me-"She's what? Just tell me."

Mr. Edwards-"Well, She thinks she's Julia."

I couldn't think. I just couldn't believe this. I just couldn't. How in the world does my girlfriend think that she's my dead ex-girlfriend? She never even met Julia. This had to be my worst nightmare. This couldn't be true, but I wanted to believe him because I trusted him. But a little part of my mind was questioning that trust and wondering if this was just a sick joke to get back at the guy that had broken up with his daughter and had caused all this. I just could believe it. I couldn't find the words to speak. I guess I had stopped breathing because I passed out. Everything went black.


	7. Chapter 6

You Can't Love Someone You Don't Trust

Chapter 6

Clare's POV:

I didn't understand how these people could mistake me for their child. I mean come on its not even possible for me to look anything like this Clare. I think that's what they said her name is. I don't know, all I know is that I'm in a hospital bed with a head injury, with people confusing me with their daughter, while my parents are no where to be found, and I can't go to Eli's because of the fight that we had. I didn't know what I was going to do. Where am I supposed to go? Among the mists of my thoughts Doctor Johnson came into my room to talk to me.

Doctor Johnson-"Hi, how are you feeling?"

Me-"I'm ok, just a little confused."

Doctor Johnson-"That is perfectly normal, what are you confused about?" I didn't really want to tell him all my problems but I figured he might be able to help me.

Me-"Just about what I'm going to go when you release me from here. I can't go to Eli's because of our fight, and I can't just go home with those people out there who think I'm their daughter."

Doctor Johnson-"Well, actually you will go home with them."

Me-"Whoa, hold on a second. You expect me to go home with complete strangers just because they claim that I'm their kid? You can't be serious."

Doctor Johnson-"Well, it's not just that they think you're their kid, it's because you are."

Me-"What do you mean I am? How do you know?"

Doctor Johnson-"Because they showed me a picture of their daughter."

Me-"And, your point is?"

Doctor Johnson-"My point is that you look just like her."

Me-"What do you mean I look just like her?" When I asked him that he got up from the chair that he was sitting in a walked out of the room. He came back a few minutes later with what looked like a mirror. He walked over to me and stood there for a second before continuing.

Doctor Johnson-"This might come as a shock." I didn't understand what he meant. He just stood there for a moment before slowly turning the mirror to where I could see my reflection. When I saw the person staring back at me I was in shock. This wasn't me, how could it be? This didn't look anything like me. In the place where my long black hair used to be was short curly autumn hair that wasn't mine. My dead colorless face was replaced with flawless skin and red flushed cheeks. My thin lips where replaced with full baby pink ones. And finally my eyeliner smudged brown eyes where gone. In their place there were makeup free big blue eyes. I didn't understand. Why didn't I look like myself? This wasn't me. How could it be? Then ever so slowly Doctor Johnson pulled what looked like a picture out of his pocket.

Doctor Johnson-"This is the picture of Clare."

When he showed it to me my heart stopped. I looked exactly like Clare. Everything was identical. I couldn't believe it. This was impossible. I was speechless. Who was this Clare girl? Why was every one talking about her? And why did Eli call me by her name earlier? I hadn't picked up on it earlier, but now I did. Did he know this Clare girl? He must if he called me by her name. How did he know her? Why, was a better question.

Me-"I want to speak to Eli."

Doctor Johnson-"Okay, let me just go and get him."

Then the doctor left the room. He was gone for an awfully long time. I was getting really impatient. I laid my head back against my pillow and before I knew it I drifted off to sleep.

Eli's POV:

I woke up lying in a hospital bed. I guess the doctors decided to put me in there since I had passed out. I walked out into the waiting room to find Adam gone. He probably went to the cafeteria to get something to eat. My stomach growled at the thought of food, I figured I needed to eat something, seeing as how I hadn't ate anything all day long. It was about 1:45 in the morning, there wasn't anyone in the waiting room, and most of the staff was sitting around talking or playing card games, while the rest of them came and went with something to do. It was a little chilly so I grabbed my jacket and slid it on. I walked in the direction of the cafeteria, seeing I knew where it was really well because this was the hospital where they brought Julia when she died. Even though I didn't want to eat then, my mother had forced me to, by saying that I needed the food to survive. Oh her and her convincing ways. So I fumbled through the halls half asleep and half awake. When I reached the cafeteria there weren't that many people in there. And few here and there, most of them reading the newspaper, or deep in thought while drinking what looked like coffee, or tea. I scanned the area then I found Adam. He was sitting at a table by himself. I walked through the line to get my food. There were so many choices I couldn't decide. I ended up getting a hamburger, some fries, some fresh fruit and a coke. I paid and went over to where Adam was sitting. It was kind of weird between us ever since I saw him kiss Clare and saw her straddling him on her bedroom floor. It was especially weird when I thought for a second that my best friend would even do that to me. By thinking that, I had doubted his trust, and that had hurt his feelings.

Me-'Hey, do you mind if I sit with you?"

Adam-"No, not at all. I don't see why you even needed to ask." I sat down and looked at him sheepishly.

Me-"Well, ever since I doubted your trust by thinking that you would hurt me because you wanted to be with Clare, things have been a little weird. And I doubted you when I walked in on Clare straddling you, and you told me that you two were just wrestling. I should have believed you and I'm sorry."

Adam-"Eli, you have nothing to be sorry for. I understand completely what you were thinking. I mean you did see us kissing and then you saw her straddling me. Anyone would of thought the same thing. Not just you. And besides you've already had one person that you loved taken away from you, I understand that you would be defensive, and paranoid."

Me-"I know but still. I never should have doubted you. I should of trusted you when you told me the truth." I'm really sorry."

Adam-"Dude I forgave you the second after you doubted me. We are best friends and nothing is going to change that. Oh and just because you're over protective and worried about Clare all the time, that doesn't mean that you have to let your appearance go, I mean come one man you're hurting my eyes." He was joking and punched my arm. I was glad to know that we were cool. I don't know what I would do without Adam.

Me-"Thanks, but there is something I have to tell you."

Adam-"What is it?"

Me-"It's about Clare."

Adam-"What! Is she ok?"

Me-"Whoa calm down, she's fine. She's just not herself."

Adam-"Gosh Eli, give me a heart attack why don't you, and besides I'm sure she'll be fine. I mean you wouldn't be your self if you were in her position."

Me-"Adam, No that's not what I mean, you don't understand." She isn't herself."

Adam-"What do you mean isn't herself?"

Me-"Well, when Clare's parents went in her room to see how she was doing. She told them that they weren't her parents. She also told them that she wasn't Clare."

Adam-"Oh no. But I mean she'll just snap out of it right?"

Me-"Well, that's not all. She thinks she's someone else."

Adam-" Someone else?"

Me-"Yeah, she thinks she's Julia."

Adam-"OMG What? How can she think that she's Julia? She never even met her before."

Me-'I know, I don't get it and neither do the doctors."

Adam-"What did they say?"

Me-"Well, I talked to Doctor Johnson, he told me that this was a very serious case, and that it was really rare. They've never seen anything like it. He doesn't understand how she can think She's someone that she never even met."

Adam-"OMG, What are they going to do?"

Me-"There is nothing that they can really do except wait."

Adam-"How long will that take?"

Me-"They have no idea. Doctor Johnson told me that this could go on forever, or it could only last a few weeks, it just depends how bad the condition is. And the bad thing is that they can't continue with the surgery until the swelling in her head goes down."

Adam-"How long will it take for that to happen?"

Me-"A few weeks, but only them can they go in and see how much damage is done."

Adam-"That's terrible."

Me-'Yeah, I just hope she snaps out of it quickly, I miss Clare."

Adam-"Me to. So have you talked to her?"

Me-"No, not since she had me thrown out of her room. And as far as she's concerned she never wants to see me again."

Adam-"Don't say that, Clare loves you."

Me-"Yeah I know, but that's not Clare in that room, its Julia."

Adam-"Oh, then why is she mad at you?"

Me-"Well, do you remember how I told you Julia died?"

Adam-"yeah."

Me-"Well, she got hit by the car because we had gotten in a fight, that's the reason she got upset and rode off in the night on her bike."

Adam-"yeah I remember."

Me-"Well, with what has happened, her thinking that she's Julia and all, I'm guessing that she thinks that after we had our fight instead of her dying, she thinks that she just woke up in the hospital hurt. They only thing that I can't figure out is that Clare never met Julia so how is it possible for her to think that she's Julia?"

Adam-"I have no idea. All I know is that this isn't right and I want Clare back to her old normal self."

Me-"Yeah, you have no idea how much I want her back. I feel so bad for what I did and now she isn't herself so I can't even apologize. Hell, I can't even go anywhere near her, because if I do she freaks out and has me removed from her presence. So I don't know what to do. If I could just have one chance to talk to her about all this without her freaking out."

Adam-"I know. I really feel for you. Maybe you should give her time to calm down and come to her senses."

Me-"Yeah, I think that's for the best."

Adam-"Sorry man, but that may be your only shot. Number one, she is really pissed off at you. Number two, we have no idea how long this whole "I'm not Clare, I'm Julia" is going to last. And finally number three, you don't want her to permanently hate you."

Me-"Yeah, your so right."

After that we pretty much ate in silence. I ate my entire hamburger and almost all my fries. I drunk my coke, and I only ate my apple because I love apples. After that we got up and walked back up to the waiting room to wait some more. There was no way I was going to leave her here all by herself. I just couldn't bring myself to leave. After all, this was my entire fault and I loved her more than life itself. And nothing in the world was going to stop me from being here, and always being there for her. Nothing. So when we got back to the waiting room Doctor Johnson walked over to me.

Doctor Johnson-"Mr. Goldsworthy, how are you feeling?"

Me-"I'm feeling much better now that I ate something."

Doctor Johnson-"Well, when you where passed out Clare, or Julia, asked to speak with you but when I came to your room you were still asleep and when I went back to her room to tell her that you were sleeping she was asleep. And I really didn't want to wake you or her. You both looked so tired and so peaceful. But anyways she is awake now and she wants to talk to you."

Me-"Oh really? Okay then."

I got up and followed him into the room where Clare/Julia was.


	8. Chapter 7

You Can't Love Someone You Don't Trust

Chapter 7

Eli's POV:

I couldn't believe what Doctor Johnson had just said. Clare/Julia wanted to talk to me. I was a little shocked, I mean the last time I tried to talk to her she practically had me thrown out of her room. So I was a little worried about this next time. I followed Doctor Johnson to the room where she was. I slowly walked in to find her lying in her bed staring at the ceiling. I didn't want to make her mad so I just walked in and stood there. She didn't look up until Doctor Johnson left the room and closed the door. She just looked at me for a moment.

Clare/Julia-"Eli, we need to talk."

Me-"Okay?" I walked over to her and sat down in the chair next to her bed.

Clare/Julia-"I know you and everyone else seem to think that I'm this Clare girl, but I'm not. I don't even know who this Clare person is. Do you know her?"

Me-"Yeah, well you see Clare is kind of well, she's my girlfriend."

Clare/Julia-"Excuse me? WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE'S YOUR GIRLFRIEND?"

Me-"Come on Clar- I mean Julia don't yell."

Clare/Julia-"Don't yell? You tell me that you have a girlfriend when I'm supposed to be your girlfriend and you tell me not to yell?"

Me-"Julia you don't understand."

Clare/Julia-" Oh I understand alright. You are cheating on me."

Me-"I'm not cheating on you. Will you please just listen, PLEASE?"

Clare/Julia-"Fine, but you better have a good explanation."

Me-"Ok so this may be shocking, but the only way for me to help you is for you to believe me when I tell you that you're Clare not Julia ok?"

Clare/Julia-"But I'm no-"

Me-"Just take it into consideration for a few minutes ok. Trust me."

Clare/Julia-"Ok."

Me-"Ok so do you remember the night that we got into the fight about me being too protective, it was raining, you got upset, rode off on your bike and got hit by a car?"

Clare/Julia-"Yeah, why?"

Me-"Well, I know that this may be hard to believe but you didn't make it."

Clare/Julia-"What do you mean I didn't make it?"

Me-"When you got hit, you died instantly. Well, after you died I moved and started going to Degrassi, well that's where I met Clare. She helped me get over your death, she helped me love again."

Clare/Julia-"I don't know what to say. Ok so if Julia is dead and I'm "Clare" then why was Clare brought to the hospital?"

Me-"Well, I was planning for us to have a weekend alone at my friends lake house but Clare thought I was cheating on her. So to make me feel bad about "cheating" she kissed my best friend in front of me." "Well, then I went to her house to find them together, I was hurt and scared so I broke up with her." "When I drove off she ran out into the street after me and got hit by a car. She was brought to the hospital and she was put in surgery but she was bleeding too much so they had to stop, and when she woke up she thought she was Julia."

Clare/Julia-"So you're telling me that I'm Clare who thinks I'm Julia?"

Me-"Yes."

Clare/Julia-"I don't understand, is this just a stupid lie to make me think that you're not cheating on me?"

Me-"No its not!"

Clare/Julia-"Yeah, ok"

Me-"Ok fine how do you explain why you look just like Clare?"

Clare/Julia-"I..I don't know."

Me-"Ok then. I'm not lying to you. I promise you that."

Clare/Julia-"Ok, well I think I'd like to be alone right now."

Me-"Ok." And with that I got up and left her room. I know that I had just dumped a lot of information on her, but what else could I do? It seemed like the more I tried to make matters better the worse things became. Feeling sad and hopeless I wondered back into the waiting room to find Adam asleep, spread out across 3 chairs, and drool running down his lip. I figured since there was nothing I could do about the situation, and because it was like 2:30 in the morning I'd better try and get some sleep. I lay down, closed my eyes, and drifted into a deep sleep.

Clare/Julia's POV:

Was he insane? Here he sits trying to tell me that I'm actually Clare, who thinks I'm Julia, who's actually dead. I couldn't believe what was coming out of his mouth. Did he think I was stupid? I knew what he was doing. He was trying to cover up the fact that he was a cheater. He probably felt bad and didn't want me to find out about this other girl, but surprise surprise I did. Among the mists of his babble I told him that I wanted to be alone. So with a simple "ok" he left the room without looking back. I couldn't stay here. I woke up in this hospital looking like a girl I had never seen before in my life, I think Eli cheated on me with this "Clare", the doctor is making me go home with complete strangers just because they have a picture of a girl that I look exactly like, and to top it all of I don't even know what to believe. I just had to leave. Doctor Johnson told me that I would be free to leave tomorrow afternoon, but the problem with that was I would have to go home with "Clare's" parents. I didn't even know those people. There was no way that I was going home with them. So right after Eli left my room I decided to run away. I figured that if I was free to leave tomorrow then I was ok to leave today, so I gently pulled the medical tape off of my hand and easily slipped the needle out of my skin. I had to repeat the process about 4 more times. Gosh you would think I was dying, because of all the I.V.'s stuck in me. After they were all out, I quickly grabbed the bag of Personals that Clare's mom had brought earlier. I opened it up to find bright cheery clothes. So much for wanting something to make me feel like myself. There was a purple matching jump suit, a pair of converse, socks, a hairbrush, shampoo, conditioner, soap, deodorant, and some more personal items of the sort. I decided since it was like 2:30 I had time to take a quick shower. I figured that when I ran away I really wouldn't have a place to take one, and I had been stuck in a hospital bed for like 2 days without one. I couldn't resist. I grabbed the bag and a towel out of the closet and went into the bathroom. I got in the shower, and when I picked up the shampoo to wash my hair, the smell of strawberries floated out of the container. I suddenly remembered a memory. It was like this memory wasn't mine but in a way it was. I remembered back to one fall day, Eli and me were cuddled up on my bed watching movies. When the movie we were watching had gone off, I had gotten up to get the other movie that was lying on my dresser to put it in. Eli had gotten up off the bed and walked over behind me. He wrapped his arms around me and told me that he loved the smell of my hair. I remembered the smell because I told him that I didn't know what he was talking about because I smelled like I always did, well then he lifted a piece of my hair and brought it up to my nose to smell it. I remembered thinking that he was right it did smell stronger than normal; I then told him that it was from my shampoo. He rewrapped his arms around me, and looked at me through the mirror on my dresser, I looked up to meet his gaze, but where my face should have been there wasn't one. It was all blurry and I couldn't see anything. As quickly as the memory came it left. Leaving me confused and speechless in the shower. I couldn't figure out what had just happened. I knew it wasn't my memory because I've never used strawberry scented shampoo. I pushed those thoughts out of my head and continued with my shower. I finished washing my hair and body and got out. I put on the fresh new clothes and ran the towel through my hair. I brushed my hair and my teeth. It felt so good to be clean. I gazed at my appearance in the mirror and was astonished at how pretty Clare actually was. She had short curly autumn hair, full pink lips, scarlet flushed cheeks, and big bright blue eyes. Aside from me hating her because she was the girl my boyfriend was cheating on me with, she was really pretty. I quickly grabbed the socks and put them on, along with the converse, which reminded me of myself. I grabbed the bag and stuffed all the things back in there. I quickly grabbed a piece of paper, a pen and scribbled a note to Eli on it. When I was finished I laid it on the bed and walked to the door. I slowly opened it and peeked outside to make sure no one was near. When the coast was clear I quietly walked out of the door. I followed the hall to the waiting room to find Eli laid out across some uncomfortable looking chairs. He was in a deep sleep and he looked so peaceful. I walked over to him and stared at him for a moment. He looked so beautiful and I had the urge to just crawl up next to him and sleep in his arms. I longed for how we used to be, with everything simple and loving. We were so much in love back then. I don't know how he felt but I felt the same way. Things are different now and me running away was for the best. So I pushed the thoughts out of my head and walked to the elevator. I went all the way down to the ground level, and then walked out of the front doors with no one suspecting a thing. Once I was outside I didn't really know what to do. I hadn't really pushed my plan this far; I only panned to get out of there. I started walking down the street, and headed to the place where my mom would be.


	9. Chapter 8

You Can't Love Someone You Don't Trust

Chapter 8

Clare's POV:

As I walked down the street to my house, I started to get discouraged. What if Eli was right? What if he was right about Julia being dead? When I got to my house what would I say to my mom? I looked nothing like Julia so even if I told her I was Julia she would think I was crazy. My thoughts wouldn't go away and before I knew it I ended up in front of where I was headed. I looked up to find that the house was dark. It looked betrayed and alone. I slowly walked up the sidewalk and on to the porch. It looked like no one had lived there in years. I thought it was useless to knock on the door seeing as how no one would answer, so I walked over to the boarded up window and peeked through a crack. Inside the house it was dark and dusty. The house was empty; the floors were covered with dust and trash. Part of me felt sad but the other part felt relieved. I was sad because my house was abandoned and my mom was gone, but I felt relieved because I wouldn't have to figure out what to say without them thinking I was mentally insane. With discourage in my heart I backed away from the window, walked off the porch, and away from the house. I had no idea where to go. I couldn't go back to the hospital, and I couldn't go to Eli' s. I didn't know if Eli was still mad at me but I knew I was still mad at him. I mean don't get me wrong I loved Eli but there was still a part of me that was hurt by what he had said that night. It seemed like it happened yesterday and I remember it perfectly. We had been going out for almost a year and we were so in love. Well Eli was becoming a little over protective, and it was slowly driving me insane. So I decided to talk to him. We were at school one day and I told him that I needed to talk to him. He was a little confused as to why I was acting so serious, so he just replied with an "ok". So that afternoon after school we walked out to Morty together so we could talk. When we reached Morty the conversation began.

Me-"Eli we really need to talk."

Eli-"Ok, what about?"

Me-"I feel kind of smothered."

Eli-"What do you mean?"

Me-"Ok well don't get me wrong I love you, but lately you've become a little over protective and controlling."

Eli-"it's just that I've never felt the way I do about you. Never have I ever loved a girl as much as you. I just don't want to loose you."

Me-"Eli, you're not going to." "I love you and always will."

Eli-"I love you to and I will try to work on the protectiveness."

Me-"Ok." With that our conversation was over. He drove me home and we continued on with our lives. Well over the next month instead of things becoming better they became worse. Now I know Eli said that he was going to try to control his protectiveness, but he wasn't doing such a good job. He normally protected me when I needed it and sometimes when I didn't, but the way he was acting now just freaked me out. He used to be caring and supportive, but now it was like that Eli was gone and there was a new one. He was clingy and obsessive. I didn't understand. He always wanted to be with me. Now don't get me wrong I loved Eli and I wanted to be with him but there are sometimes when you just need a break from the one you love. His actions continued to get worse and worse so I decided that I was going to have to talk to him again. I think it was one Saturday and it had been raining all day long. I was a little scared, not of him, but if he got mad and broke up with me, now that's what I was scared of. I didn't want to loose him but this whole protectiveness has got to go. So I called him and asked him if we could meet at our spot. It was an old crossroad that not many people drove on these days. He said yes and I told him I would meet him there. As soon as I hung up the phone I went outside, got on my bike, and took off in the direction where I would be meeting him. The rain had stopped for the time being and it was almost dark, so I figured that Eli would have to drive me home. Once I reached our spot I immediately saw Morty and Eli lying on the hood looking up at the sky. I predicted that he knew I was there so I just laid my bike down, walked over to his car, and climbed on the hood with him. I laid there for a few minutes before looking over to realize that he was asleep. He looked so happy and content and I just couldn't bear the thought of waking him, but I knew I had to. So I ever so gently reached over and kissed his cheek. Nothing. So then I kissed his lips. He stirred but didn't wake up. I then reached over and gently shook him. He slowly woke up and I was reconnected to his dazzling emerald eyes. He smiled at me and I smiled back.

Eli-"Hey, you made it."

Me-"Yeah, how long have you been waiting?"

Eli-"About 35 to 45 minutes."

Me-"I'm sorry I didn't mean for it to be that long."

Eli-"It's ok. I was already in the area when you called so it's no big deal."

Me-"Oh, ok."

Eli-"So what did you want to talk about? You seemed kind of worried on the phone."

Me-"Ok well I don't want you to get mad or upset but we need to talk about your protectiveness."

Eli-"My protectiveness? I thought we talked about this before."

Me-"We did, but to me it seems like things have gotten worse."

Eli-"What do you mean gotten worse? I thought things were going good. I thought you were happy. I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME!"

Me-"Eli please don't yell, just clam down. I do love you and I am happy."

Eli-"No you're not. If you were happy you wouldn't be trying to cause us problems."

Me-"Eli I'm not trying to cause us problems, I'm trying to fix this before it becomes a problem."

Eli-"NO YOU'RE NOT, YOU DON'T LOVE ME AND YOU DON'T WANT TO BE WITH ME!"

Me-"Eli yes I do! What are you talking about?"

Eli-"you know exactly what I'm talking about. You don't want us to be together."

Me-"Yes I do. I love you."

Eli-"No you don't."

Me-"Eli I don't understand why you are doing this."

Eli-"Me? You're the one who is trying to create a problem so you can break up with me."

Me-"Break up with you? Why would I do that? I love you."

Eli-"This happens every time I try to be with someone. I don't know why I thought this time would be different."

Me-"Eli what are you talking about?"

Eli-"you wouldn't understand."

Me-"I would if you would tell me."

Eli-"No You won't understand."

Me-"Yes I will, I love you. I want to be with you."

Eli-"No you don't. I know where you're going with this."

Me-"Eli I'm not going anywhere with this."

Eli-"You don't love me you hate me."

Me-"No Eli you're wrong."

Eli-"No I'm not. The only thing that's wrong is us being together."

I remembered when he said that his words cut through my heart like a knife. I didn't understand what he was saying. I couldn't grasp the concept that he thought being with me was wrong. Never had it occurred to me that he might be unhappy. That he might not want to be with me anymore. Maybe that's why he was being possessive and controlling; he was trying to push me away. Before I knew what had happened I had jumped off the hood of Morty, and ran over to get on my bike. Before I had the chance to run away Eli had run over to me saying that he was sorry. But I didn't give him the chance to persuade me. I was hurt and he didn't want me. He didn't want us to be together. He said it himself. It was dark and I could hardly see especially with the hard rain pounding in my face. I remember hearing something screeching and bright lights blinding me. The next thing I knew I felt the metal colliding with my body, ripping it to shreds. I remember hitting the pavement and trying to get up but something was pinning my body to the ground. I lay there for a moment before darkness took over and I closed my eyes. I don't really remember what happened after that. I remember waking up in the hospital and feeling like I'd been in a deep deep sleep. I don't know what happened. All I knew was that I woke up looking like a stranger and then Eli telling me that Julia had died and I was some girl named Clare. It didn't make any sense and I wanted to figure it out. I escaped my thoughts when I heard a car honk. I looked up to see that it was Eli's black hearse. He jumped out of the car and ran toward me.

Eli-"Clare!"

Me-"I'm not Clare, I'm Julia!" and with that I took off running. Eli was a fast runner so I knew I didn't have a chance to get away but my body wouldn't let me stop. I just had to keep going. I ran as fast as I could, but Eli stayed right on my heels. I decided to stop running on the sidewalk and dashed into the woods, but Eli strayed right behind me. I ran and ran and ran, but eventually being the clumsy person that I am, I tripped and fell. Eli caught up with me immediately. I tried to jump up and run but Eli grabbed me by the wrists and held them up by my head. I wiggled and fought, trying to get away, but he wouldn't let me.

Eli-"Stop, JULIA STOP!" I suddenly realized how much my life had fallen apart. Everything I had was gone and I had nothing. The tears started streaming down my face.

Me-"NO I DON'T WANT YOU! YOU DON'T WANT ME EITHER!"

Eli-"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, YOU DON'T HAVE ANYWHERE ELSE TO GO!"

Me-"YES I DO!"

Eli-"Ok where? Are you just going to up and disappear and never come back to deal with your problems?"

Me-"IT WOULD BE SO MUCH BETTER IF I JUST LEFT. THEN I WOULDN'T BE A PROBLEM FOR EVERYONE ELSE!"

Eli-"YOU'RE NOT A PROBLEM. YOU'RE JUST CONFUSED."

Me-"YOU DON'T THINK I KNOW THAT! I'M SO CONFUSED AND NO ONE SEEMS TO CARE OR WANT TO HELP ME."

Eli-"I care and I want to help you."

After that he bent down and kissed me on the forehead. He then got up and helped me up. I stood there crying and he pulled me into a hug. We stayed like that for a while.

Eli-"If I let you go are you going to run?"

Me-"No." He let me go and I glanced around the woods where we were. As soon as I saw where we had ended up I remembered it. I guess Eli noticed that I was in a trance because he asked me what was wrong before looking around to realize where we were. The memory flowed into my head and it was as clear as day. It was our place. We came here when we wanted to be alone. It was in the middle of the woods where we had created a fort like thing. There were trees all around us. We used to lay here at night talking and looking up at the stars. I walked away from Eli and walked toward a tree that had our names scratched in the tree into the middle of a heart. I turned to look at Eli who looked sad.

Me-"Do you remember this place?"

Eli-"Of course I do."

Me-"Yeah it was where we first said we loved each other." Once I said it, Eli looked at me like he was shocked. I started describing the memory to him.

Me-"It was a cool spring day, the temperature was wonderful. My step mom and I were fighting. She slapped me in the face, so I went to your house." "We figured that she would just come to your house to get me, so we decided to go to our place. When we got here we laid down on our fort to talk. We had been lying there for a few minutes before I looked over at you. You looked at me back; we stared at each other for the longest time before I told you I loved you. You smiled and told me you loved me to." "Later on you carved our names into that tree and carved a heart around them."

Eli-"How do you know that?"

Me-"It's what I keep telling everyone, I may look like Clare but on the inside I'm Julia."

Eli-"I'm sorry I didn't believe you" he walked over to me and gave me a hug.

Me-"It's ok.'

Eli-"Now you do know that you're going to have to come back to the hospital."

Me-"What? No I don't want to."

Eli-"You have to, even though you don't think you're Clare, you're identical to her, so you have to go home with her parents. Besides you can't be wondering around the streets, it's not safe."

Me-"Ok, but why can't I stay with you?"

Eli-"Well, the doctor said that you needed to be at home, it will help being in a familiar place. Don't worry they're good people. You'll be safe, and if anything happens you can call me."

Me-"Ok, fine."

With that we walked back to Morty and Eli drove me to the hospital. As soon as we pulled up I completely regretted deciding to come back. I didn't know these people, how was I supposed to know if I would be safe with them. I guess I could give it a try. I trusted Eli and if he trusted them, then so did I. I just couldn't bring myself to understand how all of this had happened. My life was turned upside down, my mom was gone, Eli was different, and no one wanted to believe me when I told them the truth. I was alone. I always went to Eli for help, but now I needed help with my biggest problem, and he didn't believe me; but at least he was starting to come around. As we walked through the hospital doors I was terrified and shaking. I guess Eli could tell because he grabbed and held my hand in his and continued to walk to the elevators. When the doors shut I started shaking more, and Eli tightened the grip on my hand.

Eli-"Calm down, everything is going to be ok."

Me-"How can you be so certain?"

But before he could answer the doors opened and I immediately saw Clare's parents, Doctor Johnson, and some guy I'd never seen before sitting in the waiting room, looking worried. As soon as I stepped out of the elevator Clare's parents came running to me, then throwing their arms all over me, saying how scared and worried they had been. I had a good mind to ask them why they would be worried seeing as how I'm not their daughter. But I figured that everything would go over smoother if I were nice.

Me-"There was no need to be worried. You should've known that this one wouldn't let me get Far." I said nudging Eli. They looked pleased that I was being civil compared to earlier.

Mr. Edwards-"Doctor Johnson just told us that you're free to come home with us today."

Mrs. Edwards-" What do you think, are you ready to come home?" I decided to be civil again.

Me-"Yes, I can't wait."

They pulled me into another hug and then walked me out of the hospital and to their car. I was scared and worried, but at the same time I was thankful that for the first time in a while I had a little faith that everything would be ok.


	10. Chapter 9

You Can't Love Someone You Don't Trust

Chapter 9

Eli's POV:

Well I did it. I told Clare/Julia everything that had happened. I told her that she wasn't really Julia because Julia had died. I told her that she was Clare and she thought she was Julia. I guess you could say that she took it well. After I told her she said she wanted to be alone, so I got up and left. I went back to the waiting room and fell asleep just like Adam had, on the waiting room chairs. It was an ok sleep I guess you could say, but before I knew it I was woken up by the sound of doctors and nurses in a panic. I got up and walked to the front desk where Doctor Johnson was standing.

Me-"Um, excuse me, Doctor Johnson. What's going on?"

Doctor Johnson-"Well, I was making my morning rounds when I came to Clare's room. When I entered to see how she was feeling she wasn't there."

Me-"What are you talking about?"

Doctor Johnson-"She's gone. We watched over all the security videos and found her leaving the hospital around 3. She was wearing a matching purple jumpsuit."

Me-"I can't believe this. Do you have any idea where she would have went?"

Doctor Johnson-"Well, she did leave you this." He handed me a folded up piece of paper.

Doctor Johnson-"She left this on her bed."

I took the note and opened it. I read it to myself.

~ Clare's Note ~

Dear Eli,

By the time you read this I will be gone. I know that I am nothing but a problem. I need to get away and think about all this. I know you care about Clare and I know you care about me, but I can't keep feeling like this; alone and unloved. I don't know if what you said is true. I don't really know what to believe right now. All I know is that I woke up looking like Clare and feeling like Julia. I'm so confused and everyone keeps telling me that I'm her. I know this may be hard for you to believe but its like I'm Clare and Julia combined together. I look like Clare. I remember memories about both of our lives, but I don't understand how this can be. The last thing I remember before waking up was us having a fight, me riding off in the night on my bike, and getting hit by that car. Then I woke up in the hospital. If I did die like you said then I don't remember it. I know this is difficult, but this is for the best. I'm going to the place where I feel the safest. I don't want you to follow me. All I want you to do is forget about me and move on. Your life has been so complicated and confusing lately. It's time for both of us to move on and try to have a happy life. I wish you the best of happiness.

Love Julia.

Once I was finished reading the note I took off toward the door.

Doctor Johnson-"Eli! Where Are you going?"

Me-"I know where she is."

And with that I ran through the door until I reached Morty. I got in, started him, and drove off. I knew where she was going; she was going to our place. I was in drifting thoughts when I saw her walking on the side of the road. I immediately pulled Morty over and honked my horn. I jumped out of the car and ran toward her. She then did something that I didn't expect; she took one look at me and started running. I chased her on the sidewalk for a few moments before she dashed into the woods. I ran as fast as I could and several times I almost caught her, but she managed to get away. We ran and ran and ran until finally she fell. I ran over to her and she tried to get up but I grabbed her wrists and pinned them above her head. She fought and tried to get away but I didn't let her.

Me-"STOP! JULIA STOP!" She looked at me like she realized all that was happening and she broke down in tears. I expected her to break down, but instead she started yelling at me.

Clare/Julia-"NO I DON'T WANT YOU! YOU DON'T WANT ME EITHER!"

Me-"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? YOU DON'T HAVE ANYWHERE ELSE TO GO."

Clare/Julia-"YES I DO!"

Me-"Ok where? Are you just going to up and disappear and never come back to deal with your problems?"

Clare/Julia-"IT WOULD BE SO MUCH BETTER IF I JUST LEFT. THEN I WOULDN'T BE A PROBLEM FOR EVERYONE ELSE!"

Me-"YOU'RE NOT A PROBLEM! YOU'RE JUST CONFUSED!"

Clare/Julia-"YOU DON'T THINK I KNOW THAT! I'M SO CONFUSED AND NO ONE SEEMS TO CARE OR WANT TO HELP ME!"

Me-"I care and I want to help you." I couldn't resist anymore so I bent down and kissed her forehead. I helped her up but she continued to cry so I pulled her into a hug and we stayed there like that for a few minutes.

Me-"If I let you go are you going to run?"

Clare/Julia-"No." I let her go and when I did she looked around the woods in a trance like state. So I asked her what was wrong before I looked around and realize where we were. It was our place: the place where we both felt the safest. We used to come here all the time. I wondered if she remembered it. I was about to ask her but she beat me to the punch.

Clare/Julia-"Do you remember this place?"

Me-"Of course I do."

Clare/Julia-"Yeah it was where we first said we loved each other." I couldn't believe she knew this place. I had never come here with Clare. I mean its not that I didn't want to share this with her, it's just that I didn't want to offend Julia by bringing another girl here, and because every time I came here after Julia's death I cried.

Clare/Julia-"It was a cool spring day, the temperature was wonderful. My step mom and I were fighting. She slapped me in the face, so I went to your house." "We figured that she would just come to your house to get me, so we decided to go to our place. When we got here we laid down on our fort to talk. We had been lying there for a few minutes before I looked over at you. You looked at me back; we stared at each other for the longest time before I told you I loved you. You smiled and told me you loved me to." "Later on you carved our names into that tree and carved a heart around them."

I couldn't believe what was coming out of her mouth. How could she remember this?

Me-"How did you know that?"

Clare/Julia-"It's what I keep telling everyone, I may look like Clare but on the inside I'm Julia." She had to be right. I mean come on, how else would she of known about Julia's place and mine.

Me-"I'm sorry I didn't believe you." I walked over to her and gave her a hug.

Clare/Julia-"It's ok." We were having a good moment, but I knew I would have to end it by reminding her that she had to come back to the hospital.

Me-"You do know that you're going to have to come back to the hospital."

Clare/Julia-"What? No I don't want to."

Me-"You have to, even though you don't think you're Clare, you're identical to her, so you have to go home with her parents. Besides you can't be wondering around the streets, it's not safe."

Clare/Julia-"Ok, but why can't I stay with you?"

Me-"Well, the doctor said that you needed to be at home, it will help being in a familiar place. Don't worry they're good people. You'll be safe, and if anything happens you can call me."

Clare/Julia-"Ok, fine." We walked back to Morty together and drove back to the hospital. The ride back to the hospital was quiet. I guess she was thinking about everything that had happened or thinking about her new home. When we walked through the doors, I could tell the she was scared because she was shaking. So I grabbed her hand and never let it go. We walked to the elevator and when the doors shut she started shaking more, so I tightened the grip on her hand.

Me-"Calm down, everything is going to be ok."

Clare/Julia-"How can you be so certain?"

Before I could answer the doors opened and we found ourselves looking at Clare's parents, Doctor Johnson, and Adam all sitting in the waiting room. When we walked out of the elevator Clare's parents came running to her, throwing their arms all over her; engrossing her in hugs. They went ballistic on how they were worried sick. I knew what they went through. I felt exactly how they had felt when I first found out she was gone. When Clare/Julia spoke I was surprised she was being nice, compared to earlier. I guess she figured that everything would go smoother if she was nice.

Clare/Julia-"There was no need to be worried. You should've known that this one wouldn't let me get far." She nudged me with a smile on her face.

Mr. Edwards-"Doctor Johnson just told us that you're free to come home with us today."

Mrs. Edwards-"What do you think, are you ready to come home?"

Clare/Julia-"Yes, I can't wait." With that they gathered her things and led her out the door. Before the elevator doors completely shut she waved a small wave at me and smiled. I gave her a reassuring look that would make her feel better. I so wanted to follow after her to her so-called new home, and help her with every little thing. But I knew she needed some rest and so did I. I stood there with my eyes drooping, half asleep. Adam came up to me and offered to drive me home. I agreed and reminded him that he would have to walk home. He was fine with it considering that his house was like a block away. The drive home with Adam was quiet. I guess he figured it would be best just to let me rest; I had been through a lot recently. When we got to my house Adam parked Morty, told me goodbye, and then headed to his house. I told him I would call him either later or tomorrow. I walked in the house then upstairs to my room. I shut my door and fell down on the bed drifting in a deep sleep.

I woke up to the sound of my mom beating on my door.

Cece-"ELI, OPEN THE DOOR!" I sluggishly dragged myself to the door to unlock and open it. She looked like she had been sleeping. I glanced at my alarm clock seeing that it was nearly past 1:30am. She had the phone extended out toward my face.

Cece-"It's Clare… or er um Julia? She said she called and texted your cell phone like 20 times. She sounds pretty worried." I took the phone from her.

Me-"Thanks." I shut the door and guided my attention to the person on the other end.

Me-"Hello?"

Clare/Julia-"ELI? OMG I'VE BEEN TRYING TO GET IN TOUCH WITH YOU FOR LIKE 3 HOURS! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?"

Me-"Whoa whoa, calm down. I've been sleeping. What's wrong? Are you okay?"

Clare/Julia-"Physically I'm fine, but not mentally."

Me-"What do you mean?"

Clare/Julia-"Okay well I came to Clare's house, and her parents showed me my room and all my stuff. They gave me a tour of the house. Made me feel at home. Well, we ate dinner, watched a little T.V. and then they decided that it was time that we head to bed. Well, I'm freaking out! I come into my room, Mrs. Edwards comes in to show me where all Clare's clothes are located, tells me goodnight and then leaves. Well, I go and look at her clothes and they're all bright and cheery. I'm wearing like pink shorts and a white tank top. PINK AND WHITE ELI! PINK AND WHITE! That's not even it. I tried to lay down but I couldn't sleep, so then I tried listening to some music, didn't work. I tried watching T.V, still didn't work. So I just gave up and decided to lie back down. I kept hearing things so I tried to call you. I've been laying here for 3 hours listening to noises. And I'm really scared. And I can't sleep and-"

Me-"Whoa whoa whoa. Slow down. It's going to be ok."

Clare/Julia-"No it's not!"

Me-"Yes it is. Just take a deep breath and try to calm down."

Clare/Julia-"Okay, hey Eli, do you think you could stay on the phone with me until I fall asleep?"

Me-"I've got a better idea. I'll call you back in like 5 minutes ok?"

Clare/Julia-"Okay, just hurry, I'm really sleepy." I hung up the phone and headed over to my dresser. I grabbed the smallest pair of black sweatpants I could find, a black dead hand tee shirt; some black gym shorts, threw them in a bag, put on my shoes, grabbed Morty's keys, and climbed out my window. I jumped in to Morty and drove off in the direction of Clare's house. It only took me about 6 minutes to get there. I parked down the street some because I didn't want to wake up Clare's parents. I walked to her house, and then started climbing up the tree that was right outside her window. She had her window cracked opened so I could hear her sobbing. I then realized how scared she actually was. I tapped on the window, and the sobbing stopped for a second. She slowly called out who's there? Then starting sobbing some more asking god what she did to deserve this and to help her be strong and not scared. That really made me feel bad, maybe I should of told her I was coming.

Me-"Psssst. Cla-Julia it's me."

Clare/Julia-"Eli, is that you?"

Me-"Yeah it's me." It didn't sound like she was coming closer to the door so I pushed opened her window and climbed through. A small bedside lamp dimly lit her room, and I didn't see her at all.

Me-"Julia, where are you?"

Clare/Julia-"over here." I took a few steps to the other side of her bed to find her lying in the floor in the fetal position. She looked like she had been crying for hours, hair ruffled, cheeks flushed, and eyes blood shot. Once I saw her I immediately kneeled down and scooped her up.

Me-"Julia, what are you doing?"

Clare/Julia-"Oh Eli, I'm so scared, and so alone."

Me-"Well, I'm here now so you don't have to worry." I walked toward her bed and sat her on it.

Clare/Julia-"Thanks for coming, it means a lot to me."

Me-"You're welcome. I told you I would always be there for you and I'm going to keep my promise." "oh and by the way I brought you some clothes." I walked over to wear I dropped the bag and picked it up. I walked back over to her bed and handed it to her. she looked inside before smiling.

Clare/Julia-"I don't know what I would do without you Eli. Thank you so much."

Me-"No problem. I thought it would help you feel better." Before I knew what had happened she leaned up and kissed me. I was shocked and surprised. I wanted to stop. We needed to. This wasn't right. The kiss intensified and we moved until her back hit her bedroom wall. That's when I came to my senses and pulled away from the kiss.

Me-"Stop."

Clare/Julia-"What? Why?" She was out of breath and confused.

Me-"Because we have to."

Clare/Julia-"No, its ok. My so-called parents are sound asleep. They wont hear us."

Me-"That's not why we can't." I walked over and sat down on her bed. She followed close behind me.

Clare/Julia-"Then what is it?"

Me-"I know that you and me used to have sex and stuff, but Clare wants to wait until she's married."

Clare/Julia-"ok and?"

Me-"And if we had sex, it would be like I was having sex with both of you. Yes you, as Julia would be experiencing it, but physically Clare's body would be experiencing it." "I couldn't do that to her, I love her too much."

Clare/Julia-"Well, who do you car more about?" She started undressing. She slowly pulled off her shirt and her pajama shorts. She stood there for a second, almost as if she was trying to seduce me, before reaching in the bag I had brought to slip on the dead hand t-shirt and the black sweatpants.

Me-"I care about both of you, but I love Clare more. And I'm not going to do anything to hurt her."

Clare/Julia-"oh so you care more about her? I think I could change that." She walked toward me, placing her hands on my chest. She went to kiss me but I moved my head to the side to stop her. She started running her hands down, so I grabbed her by her wrists to stop her. While I had her wrists pinned in the air, I noticed that on her left hand on her ring finger was Clare's purity ring. I knew that if she found out what kind of ring it was she would get rid of it. If Clare was anywhere she was in my conscious. I don't know how but it was like she was inside me telling me what she wanted me to do. I knew she wanted me to take it, but in a way I felt kind of bad. I wanted to take it for it's own protection, but part of me knew that it belonged to Clare, and that the only person other than Clare to have it would be the man she lost her virginity to. She was mine, but her virginity, her purity, her innocence wasn't, and I couldn't stand taking that, without her absolute permission. I released her right wrist and gently lifted her left ring finger. She looked at me as if she was confused. I took the ring between my middle finger and thumb and gently slid it off.

Clare/Julia-"What are you doing?"

Me-"Taking, and protecting what is rightfully Clare's."

Clare/Julia-"Yeah and I'm part of Clare."

Me-"No you're not. You're not part of her, you're the total opposite. You think you're part of her and that you connect to her?" "All you are is a evil mean person, who is trying to destroy what I have with Clare." "If you were a part of her, you wouldn't try to tempt me to take her most valued and protected thing. And if you cared anything about me you would respect my feelings for her, and not try to make me do something reckless that would hurt her, just because you want to feel wanted." She was slowly backing away from me. I could tell she was hurt, but I didn't care. She looked as if she was about to cry. I used to love her, but not anymore. I used to think she was the world, but she's not anymore. I thought that when we were going out it was love, true love, but being with Clare made me realize that it wasn't love. Our relationship was based on her need to feel wanted. it made me sick, to even think about how I once felt for her. Clare helped me get over her, I fell in love with her, and she fell in love with me.

Clare/Julia-"Eli, come on. All I care about is you and our love."

Me-"Our love? Ha you say that like it was something we shared. I loved you, but you didn't love me back. The only thing you loved was forgetting about your terrible life, and feeling wanted." I grabbed my bag, walked to her window, and left.


	11. Chapter 10

You Can't Love Someone You Don't Trust

Chapter 10

**DISCLAIMER: IMPORTANT: GET A BOX OF TISSUES. YOU ARE GONNA NEED IT!**

Clare's POV:

I couldn't believe what had just happened. Deep down inside I knew that I needed to feel wanted, but to hear those words said aloud, hurt me more than I could stand. For so long I had pretended that everything was ok like I wanted it to be, but hearing him say those words to me and not caring how much they hurt made me realize that it wasn't. When that realization hit I felt ashamed of myself, disgusted. But even the disgust for myself, was not as powerful as the guilt and sureness that Eli hated me. When the reality that Eli hated me hit, my heart broke into two. I had seen this supposed thing happen in a dozen movies, but it was nothing like I had expected. It is said that when your heart breaks in two you are hit with a wave of emotions, ranging from anger to sadness. But they are wrong. The only thing you really feel is emptiness and complete isolation. Don't get me wrong; I'm not saying that you don't feel sad, but the emptiness, the thought of forever being without that person who you love more than life itself is more powerful. Forever knowing that you messed it up, that you are the selfish person; and that's what I was. I was the reason we had gotten into the fight, which caused me to get hit and die. And that's when it came to me. All this time I knew what they were saying was right, but I didn't want to believe it. I wanted to believe that I was still alive and breathing; that my life was still going on, that I had a chance to turn things around, change my life and everything in it, make it better. But I couldn't. I couldn't change the fact that my life was over. That someone wonderful now held the man I loves heart. He was hers; he always was and always will be. I couldn't believe what I was thinking but it was all true. I wasn't his soul mate, his true love. I was just someone that helped him. Yes, he did suffer because of my death, but my death was the best thing that had ever happened to him. It helped him love, really love. It helped him open up and be himself, and not care what people think. It took my death to help him find his someone and fulfill his life. I couldn't believe this. I wouldn't ever in my wildest dreams think that it would take me dying to save him, but it did. That was my purpose here on this earth. It wasn't trying to fit in, or trying to get away and just feel wanted and loved. It was me helping Eli. It took me dying and coming back as Eli's soul mate to realize what love really is. It isn't something that can be portrayed in movies and songs. It isn't something to help pass time. It is something that never fails. Something that keeps you together, and holding on when it seems that all hope is gone. Something that no one can replace. It's everlasting and powerful. It's love. I spent the next couple of weeks thinking about all of this. Sometimes it was as clear as crystal and others not so much. Many times it was jumbled up in there, but often it was not. I thought about it day and night, but the one question that I kept coming back to was why did god bring me back. I knew partially because he wanted me to realize my true life's meaning, but there was another reason that I just couldn't figure out. And then out of nowhere, on that stormy Friday night, it hit me like a ton of bricks. God had brought me back for a second chance to tell Eli that I was sorry. I remembered it perfectly clear now. When I got hit by the car that had killed me, I kept thinking that I wouldn't never be able to tell the one I loved how truly and deeply sorry I was. How the fight had been my fault and how I was sorry for pressuring him. I never got the chance to do that but god was giving it to me now. I couldn't wait any longer. I jumped up from Clare's bed where I had be writing and ran all the way downstairs. I slid on my raincoat and my shoes and hit the pavement running. I had to tell him that I was sorry before my time was over, even though I had no idea when that would be. While I was running the only thing that was in my mind was Eli's face. The one face that I would never forget, no matter how muddy my memory got. Earlier that week I had been thinking about my after life and heaven a lot. I kept wondering where I would go after this. Would I be worthy to enter the gates of heaven, and even if god saw me worthy would I see my self worthy enough. I couldn't find an answer. But right now in this moment running through the rain to do what I had been brought back to do, I realized that I was worthy. In the second that I realized that my whole outlook on myself changed. No longer did I hate myself and what I had done. No longer was I ashamed of my life but I was proud of it. I was proud because I realized that I had done what god had wanted me to do. I wasn't the selfish person that I used to be I cared about others, and helping them before myself. A few moments ago I was saddened with the thought that I wouldn't see Eli's face again, but now I was thrilled. Thrilled with the thought that Eli gets to live his life now. To get married, have kids, and grown old with the woman he loves. And that someday I would see him again and he would get to tell me all about it. I came back to reality when I saw Morty. I ran up to Eli's door and beat on it. I stopped when I realized that instead of hitting the door, I was now pounding on a very sleepy looking Bullfrog.

Bullfrog- "Clarebella, whoa whoa. Slow down. There's no need for violence. Gosh, if you got a bone with me say something. Don't try to knock me out.

I could hardly breathe but I had to get the words out.

Me-"I… Talk…Eli….Please."

Bullfrog-"Sure, come on in."

Me-"thanks."

I walked into Eli's house, feeling like I had 100 pounds tied to my feet weighing me down. What seemed to me like an apology a moment ago now seemed like a goodbye. I had no idea why but instead of an apology, forgiveness, friends, and a see ya later, this seemed like a final farewell. With every step on the stairs a little piece of my heart broke. But when I reached his door, knocked, opened it and found him lying asleep on his bed with a picture frame of Clare in his arms it all shattered at once. I knew for sure that this was a farewell, and that no matter how much I wanted to stay here forever, to walk through the door, climb in bed with him, and fall asleep in his arms, I knew I could not. I had to do this. I've always known that someday I would have to say goodbye, but I didn't know that it would be this hard. But with every break of my heart God was right there beside me putting the pieces back together. A second ago I had a million and one thoughts running through my head, but the only one that remained was "God please give me the strength to do this, and give me the correct words to make this easier." I entered his room, shut the door behind me, and walked over and sat down on his bed. He seemed so at peace and I didn't want to disturb his dreams of having Clare back with this crap. But it had to be done, just like everything else. I gently shook him and he awoke, surprised to see me in his room.

Eli-"Julia? What are you doing here?"

Me-"Eli, we really need to talk."

Eli-"I know Julia. I'm soo sorry about everything I said an-."

I stopped him by placing my hand on his lips. I was here to do one thing, I didn't have time for this since I already knew how he felt about me and that he was sorry for what he said.

Me-"Eli, none of that matters. I know. What matters now is that you listen to me. This is very important okay."

Eli-"ok. But what is it. You're not still mad are you? Please don't leave me, I'm soo sorry for what I said."

With that my heart finished breaking and tears started running down my cheeks.

Me-"Eli, you know I love you. I've always had and I've always will. That day that we had our fight I realized something. Everything that everyone has been saying is true. I am dead; I did die in that accident. And I did come back in Clare's body."

Eli-"Wait, What?"

Me-"Please just listen. Let me explain. That day was one of the best days of my life because I realized the most important thing. My death was a tragedy but it was the best thing for you."

Eli-"Julia, how could it be the best thing?"

Me-"Just listen. Yes, it was sad and hard for you, but don't you see. It helped you become the man you're supposed to be. I know it may be hard to understand but my death helped you move on and find Clare. It helped you be yourself and not care about what people think. It was meant to be. I always have loved you but you've always been Clare's. I've realized that my purpose here on earth was not to plan and help myself but to help you. You are the reason I was born and it was my responsibility to help you become who you are. But that responsibility is over. I have done what I was supposed to do. The only reason God brought me back in Clare's body was to help me realize this. He also brought me back so I could tell you how deeply sorry I am for pressuring you and causing the fight that caused me to get hit. But I guess now that I look at it, I cant be that sorry because it was always meant to be. I want you to know that you are my life's purpose. And I cherish that God chose me to help you. You are the best thing that has ever and will ever happen to me."

He was speechless. Only tears ran down his face.

Eli-"I know you miss Clare and I know that you love her more than me. And I'm not mad about that, I'm happy. I really am. I want you to live your life to the fullest. I don't want you to live in regret and sadness because your are not betraying me by being with Clare."

I reached up and wiped the tears off his cheeks. I pulled him close, gave him a hug, and kissed him for the last time.

Me-"I will always love you."

I got up off his bed and walked to the door. I turned to look at his face one last time. He looked confused and sad. And with that I ran down the stairs and out the door.

Eli-"JULIA! WAIT! COME BACK!"

I ran as fast as I could. I couldn't see anything. I knew what I had to do. No matter what happened, no matter how long it would take me I would find a way to give Clare back to Eli. And then it happened.


	12. Chapter 11

You Can't Love Someone You Don't Trust

Chapter 11 

Eli's POV:

I couldn't believe what had just happened. I had a headache from crying so much, so I had laid down and fell asleep. I was dreaming a wonderful dream, where none of this had happened. It was just Clare and me at Hannah's lake house spending the weekend together. I woke up to a tearful Julia shaking me. She told me that she needed to talk to me. I sat there for the next few minutes listening to what she had to say. She told me that she had realized that her death was meant to be. That her death was the best thing that had happened to me. I couldn't believe what she was saying. How could her death be the best thing for me? And then she explained that her purpose here on this earth was to help me. She told me that she loved me but I was always Clare's. She told me that she was so sorry for the fight that we had when she died. She also told me that she loved me and with a quick hug and a kiss she was gone. I couldn't let her leave like this. So I jumped up and ran after her. When I got outside she was crossing the street. I could see what was coming but the shock of the events prolonged my warning. As I screamed out her name the jet-black car came in contact with her fragile body hurling it a few feet in the air. Her body came crashing down on the cold wet pavement. I couldn't believe what I had just witnessed. I ran to her with tears streaming down my face. I kneeled down beside her. Instead of being knocked out like I expected her to be she was asking me where she was.

Julia- "Eli is that you?"

Eli- "OH MY GOD! JULIA ARE YOU OK! Yes it's me. You need to be still you were just hit with a car."

Julia- "Huh? Hit by a car? I feel fine. What are you talking about?"

It the midst of our conversation Bullfrog came running out the front door on his cell phone. He ran over to us and kneeled down.

Bullfrog-"ELI IS SHE OK?"

Eli-"I don't know she is acting like she's ok and she talking but I don't see how. She as just hit by a car."

Julia had lifted her head and was looking down at her clothes. She then lifted her left hand and look at me surprised and confused.

Julia-" Eli what happened to my purity ring and why am I wearing you clothes? OH MY GOD! We didn't do it did we?"

Eli-"Julia. What are you talking about? You know I let you borrow some of my clothes because you hated Clare's. And I have you purity ring for its safety."

Julia-"Huh? Why are you calling me Julia? I'm Clare.

And with that she was gone.

-A few hours later-

I was sitting in the hospital waiting room. I was completely exhausted but it was imperative that I say awake. We were all here. Me, Adam, Mr. And Mrs. Edwards, bullfrog and Cece, but we hadn't heard anything from the doctors. The longer I sat in that waiting room the more I began to think about what my life would be like without either of them. I was emotionless. Nothing, except her voice could pull me from this state of mind. I know I had lived the last few weeks without Clare, but I didn't know if I could handle forever. She was my everything; my all and I couldn't live without her. I was at the end of my emotional rope, and so close to breaking down. That is until the doctor came out into the waiting room.

Doctor Johnson-"Um I have some good news an some bad news."

Me-"What do you mean? She's ok right?"

Doctor Johnson-"Yes she's ok but she doesn't remember what happened at all."

Eli-"Oh my god. Can I see her?"

Doctor Johnson-" Yes, follow me."

I walked behind him not knowing what to expect. As I entered the room, I saw her. She was sitting up in her bed with her head laid back and her eyes closed. She looked so beautiful. Doctor Johnson left me standing in the doorway. I was only able to stand there and embrace in her beauty for a few more moments before her eyes fluttered open.

Clare-"Eli, you're here."

I was hesitant as to whether or not she wanted me near her, considering what had happened the first time I tried to comfort her after her waking up. 

Clare-" what's wrong? Come here."

Me-"Nothing. Just glad that you're ok."

I walked over to her bed, pulled a chair up and sat down.

Me-"So how do you feel?"

Clare-"I feel ok, a little tired. My leg muscles hurt like crazy. Did I run A lot or something yesterday because I don't remember anything."

Me-"Well what all do you remember?"

Clare-"I remember that we were fighting and you broke up with me. I remember I ran after you and watched you drive away in Morty. Then all I remember is the rain beating down on my face and two blinding lights."

Me-"Anything else?"

Clare-"No nothing."

Me-"Ok well this may come as a shock but the last couple of weeks you haven't been yourself."

Clare-"What do you mean?"

Me-"Well, let me start from the beginning."

I sat there for 2 hours telling her everything that had happened. We both cried, and laughed but at the end we were content. Clare was released from the hospital a few days later and we finally spent the weekend at Hannah's lake house. It was just what we needed and everything went back to the way it was. I thought about Julia everyday of my life. I thought about how much she sacrificed and how much she helped me. If I didn't learn anything from this whole ordeal, I learned that I didn't hate Julia anymore. I loved her. Clare and me were happily married 9 years later. We lived our lives with each other full of love and happiness until the very end. Which came a week from Clare's 94th birthday. She passed peacefully in her sleep, with me by her side. We entered heaven together, because I kept my word. From the day that God gave Clare back to me, even though she was Julia, I have honored him, prayed to him, and trusted him with everything in my life. As much as Clare taught me about love, God and trust, Julia taught me something too. She taught me that no matter what happens, whether it be life or death, life goes on.


	13. Chapter 12 Authors note

**Hey guys! Brooke1994 here. I just wanted to tell you guys that I have enjoyed writing this story sooo much. I am truly going to miss it. But who knows I might write a sequel. I just want you guys to know that I am in the process of writing a very detailed story. I think you guys are going to love it. It will be called ****My Best friend's Wedding.**** Lol when I say detailed I mean detailed. I really think you guys will enjoy it. I will be updating it soon. **

**~Thanks~**


	14. Chapter 13 Author's Note

**Hi Every one. This is an important update on the upcoming story.**

**I would just like to start off by saying that I am terribly sorry for not updating for so long. I know you guys may hate me but I have recently been through A LOT of stuff. And I know you may think I'm just using that as an excuse but I'm not. First off I have endured a lot of emotional drama dealing with my dad. But trust me that's not stopped me from writing, I've been writing like a mad hatter. (sorry I love alice in wonderland lol) anyways what happened was that I have always typed my stories on my laptop. Well, seeing as how I want to become a writer, I took my moms, and friends suggestion and decided to try writing them in a note book. Its ok, I mean it may not be for me because I can type a lot faster but whatever. So I know when I finished my story ****You Can't Love Someone You Don't Trust, ****I told you guys to look forward to a story called ****My Best Friend's Wedding. ****I began writing it but it just didn't seem to fit well together and I have decided to postpone it until further notice. But don't be alarmed because I have started writing a story that I feel really good about. Right now I don't have a name for it but I am going to post the summary. The reason I haven't been updating is because two weeks ago I was on tumblr and my laptop screen just went black. I turned it off and back on and the screen would come one for about a few minutes then it would go black. Trust me the laptop wasn't anything special just an old IBM thinkpad t41. So my nana took it to the shop to see what was wrong with it. Well, thank god the man is going to be able to save all my stuff on it, but im going to have to buy a new laptop. Which is good. But anyways I just wanted to let you guys know why I haven't been updating. **

**Summary for new story: Clare Diane Edwards used to be a carefree, bubbly, Christian girl with a perfect life, until her parent's marriage crumbled. After her parent's divorce her life changed completely, her out-look on life, her style, her attitude, basically everything. With her mom's new taste for younger single men and her dad not wanting anything to do with her, she deals with the constant thought of never being good enough for anything, including living. But when a new dark mysterious boy gets wedged into her life, will he be able to help her become who she once was, or will she push him away like she does with everyone else?**

**Ok so I'm really excited for this story. But I really need some suggestions. You can leave your answers in a review to this post. **

**I need suggestions for a title to the story. **

**Should this story be all clare's pov: or when I include back up stories should i have their POV's like say Ali, Fiona, Drew, Adam, or should it just be Eli and clare's POV?**

**ok well that's all I need help with for right now. But if I need anymore help I will post another post. Thank you so much.**


End file.
